• Jena

Sawdust


Photo: Pixabay

She is enclosed in a room and it is hot it is hot and quiet it is hot and quiet it is hot and quiet it is silent and each of her breaths comes out with strident sounds shattering that silence with her humanness because she is after all human isn't she if she weren't she wouldn't be here on this planet in this country in this room where it is hot so hot and quiet she had dressed herself so carefully and colored her face in all the right places to be acceptable before their eyes but now she is undressed and her face is blank and bare and thoughtless because all her thoughts are locked away inside her head where they cannot be retrieved by even the most dogged of diggers she has been loved and she has been hated and she has been affected so unfortunately by the actions of others and when she feels their hands upon her she shudders because their hands are reminiscent of other hands and the memories are so painful that sometimes they leak out of the locked room in her head and find their way to her eyes where they stand like silent pools of accusation against the world so many lives she has lived and so many masks she has worn but still she is living this life running out some phantom clock that keeps time for everyone until it lays them to rest she has sought out the love from fairy tales in hopes that this love would slay her dragons or at least put them to sleep for a time lay them to sleep for a time foil their plans for a little while set her free for a little while this love is elusive and watches her from afar with critical eyes all the while surprised by how human she is how foolish with her impotent rage that she casts in all directions and everything was useless she was looked upon as an object she could only be an object though she was human she must be human because she is enclosed in a room she is encapsulated in this body and that only happens to humans well humans and dogs and she is not a dog she has not barked all day and they look at her concerned they look at her wondering they look at her and ask themselves why she has not met the standard that has been set for all why she does not walk as they do talk as they do think like they do why she cannot model herself off all the television show women who are praised before they are cast away too old too matter she is before their eyes naked she is before their eyes a curiosity show a show of horrors bare and naked such a human without the benefit of propriety's armor or civility's cloak she wants and she needs unabashedly she yearns and she craves without apology she fears and she frets and she looks out at the world with eyes that have not learned to close themselves against horrid sights she drinks them all in and it affects her soul she stands here a human can we catch her before she falls?

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